


Incorrect Quotes with the Young Justice Fam

by WorldDominator123



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Set Between Young Justice Season 1 and Season 2, Young Justice Season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:47:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 4,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24061585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorldDominator123/pseuds/WorldDominator123
Summary: Wally: We’ve done such a good job raising them.Dick: Ah. How our little babies have grown.Conner: Dear Dick and Wally, Please fuck off before I smash your skulls together. Sincerely, Conner.-----AKAA bunch of incorrect quotes about the YJ/Batfam Squad.
Relationships: Artemis Crock & Dick Grayson & Kaldur'ahm & Kon-El | Conner Kent & M'gann M'orzz & Wally West, Artemis Crock/Wally West, Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson, Bart Allen & Tim Drake & Garfield Logan & Jaime Reyes & Cassie Sandsmark, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Roy Harper & Wally West, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Comments: 45
Kudos: 328





	1. Incorrect Quotes #1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again everybody! I wanted to try something new and decided to experiment with incorrect quotes. You might recognize some of the references in there or that some of it isn't exactly original. I tried my best to write some, so here they are. I plan to write about 2 or 3 per chapter. Stay safe, comment, and enjoy!

Artemis: Alright, who did it?

M’gann: Did what?

Artemis: Teach Conner to text.

Kaldur: Dear Artemis, I’m afraid I misunderstand you my friend. Sincerely, Kaldur'ahm.

Artemis: Not you too!

Conner: Dear Artemis, What do you mean by 'Not you too!'? Sincerely, Conner.

***Artemis repeatedly banging her head against a wall***

Wally: We’ve done such a good job raising them.

Dick: Ah. How our little babies have grown.

Conner: Dear Dick and Wally, Please fuck off before I smash your skulls together. Sincerely, Conner.

* * *

Dick ***sobbing to his tied up teammates*** : Mr. Spoon ain’t worthy enough!

Jason: Alright, who the hell gave Dick sugar??

* * *

Batman: Team. Get ready for mission deployment.

Kaldur: Of course Batman. Should we wait for Nightwing, Robin, and Kid Flash?

Batman: Negative. Your mission is to detain Nightwing, Robin, and Kid Flash.

M'gann: ...what?

Batman: They stole the batmobile. Again.


	2. Incorrect Quotes #2

**The original team after missions:-**

Batman: Team, what was the _one_ _thing_ I asked you not to do tonight?

Team: To not blow our cover…

Batman: And _what_ did you do?

Team, slowly and guiltily: Blew our cover.

* * *

Tim: I probably have the sharpest memory out of all of you. Name one time I forgot something.

Damian: You forgot to pick me up from school two weeks ago.

Tim: That was on purpose, you little shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya guys! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's kinda short, but eh. I felt a little lazy. I don't really have much to say so ya. Stay safe everyone!


	3. Incorrect Quotes #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm adding another chapter today. I wasn't able to focus on school work, so I ended up typing some more. Stay safe and enjoy!

Roy  ***kissing the floor*** : Sweet, joyous land!

Dick  ***walking in dizzy while holding his stomach*** : Someone help me to the bathroom.

M’gann: What happened?

Roy and Dick: Wally happened.

Roy: Remind me to never teach him to drive again.

Artemis: He can’t be that bad.

Dick: He’s not bad. He’s worse.

Wally  ***zooming in*** : Guys! We have to do that agai-

Roy and Dick: NO!

* * *

**Bruce in a Justice League meeting:-**

Dick: How’s he holding up?

Tim: He has that look on his face which means he’s probably contemplating a few different ways to kill Clark.


	4. Incorrect Quotes #4

Roy: ***choking***

Dick: Help! I need to call 911 but the 9 button isn’t working!

Wally: Just turn it upside down and use the 6!

Dick: Genius!

Roy ***stops choking momentarily*** : What the actual fuck?

* * *

Wally: ...so you decided to blow up the warehouse?

Dick: Like a boss.

* * *

A random civilian: I mean what kind of idiot would say that? It’s like saying Bruce Wayne is Batman!

Dick: Hehe. Yeah…


	5. Incorrect Quote #5

Dick: Wanna tell me what exactly you, Bart, Jaime, and Gar were doing last night?

Tim: We were… you know, studying.

Cassie: They were going around Happy Harbour hanging up posters for a Chewbacca roaring contest.

Bart: Dude!

Dick: ...Chewbacca roaring contest?

Garfield: Thanks a lot Cassie!

Dick: You put Batman’s phone number on there, didn’t you?

Tim: Hehe.

Dick: Oh my god! I’m gonna go videotape his reaction.

Dick  ***walking away*** : You four have fun cleaning the batcave!

Jaime  ***after a few seconds of silence*** : I did not expect that reaction at all.


	6. Incorrect Quotes #6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all doing well! I don't really know what to say, so I'm just going to get on with it. Stay safe, comment, and enjoy!

Artemis: So what do we do? We get threatened with death all the time. I mean I’ve had a gun pointed at my face over a hundred times.

Wally: Yeah you have. It’s hard to escape this gun-show! ***stands up and flexes his muscles***

Artemis: …

Artemis: Dear diary, today I had to bury a body…

* * *

Kaldur: Wally, M’gann asked me to go grocery shopping and I was wondering if you could-

Dick, Conner, and Roy: No!

Kaldur: But I-

Dick, Conner, and Roy: NO!

Wally: You guys just wanna suck the fun out of everything.


	7. Incorrect Quotes #7

Dick: What are you, five?

Wally: Yeah, five heads taller than you.

Dick: …

Dick: I will give you till the count of five.

Wally: HA like you could take me dow-

***In the kitchen area***

M’gann: Was that Wally screaming?

Artemis: Who else would scream like a six-year old?

M’gann: Shouldn’t we maybe help him or something?

Kaldur: Trust me from many years of experience. You do not want to get involved.

* * *

Jason: Circus freak.

Dick: Street rat.

Jason: Asshole.

Dick: Toddler.

Dick: Hehe. Toddler.

Jason: Shut up!

Dick: Now we know why you act like a baby all the time.

***In the Batcave***

Jason: And that’s why Dick has a broken arm.

Leslie ***pinching her nose, exasperated*** : Why do I put up with you all?


	8. Incorrect Quotes #8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for today guys! I wanted to credit this chapter to one of my friends. She gave me some ideas for this work and I kinda loved them. Enjoy!

**Jason cooking for Roy --**

Roy: What is this?

Jason: It's chicken.

Roy: It's chicken? It looks like fish.

Jason: No, it's chicken. 

Roy: Are you sure? Because it really looks like fish. 

Jason: I cooked it, I should know what it is. 

Roy: ....

Jason: Oh, wait a minute! I remember, it is fish. 

Roy: That's weird. It tastes like chicken.

* * *

Talia: I wouldn't say I'm mean, I just get hired to do mean things.

Bruce: Yes, but you like it. 

Talia: I think it's important to like what you do.


	9. Incorrect Quotes #9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya everyone! I'm probably gonna add a few more chapters throughtout the day, so heads up on that. Thanks a lot for the support by they way. I really appreciate it. I'm thinking of writing one about Dick, Wally, Roy, and Kaldur on a roadtrip. What do you all think? Stay safe, comment, and enjoy!

***Nightwing and Red Hood running from an exploding warehouse***

Nightwing: Why is that every time I see you, you’re causing some sort of commotion!?

Red Hood: I don’t cause commotions, I am one.

* * *

Artemis: I am at a loss for words.

Wally: And despite being at a loss of words, Artemis yelled at me for the next 15 minutes.

* * *

Tim: I’m the most responsible out of all of us.

Jason: You blew up a school bus yesterday.

Tim  ***waving him off*** : Eh details.


	10. Incorrect Quotes #10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making this chapter purely Batfam. Enjoy!

Barbara  ***to herself*** : It’s messed up, but he’s kind of cute. If only he would say something that was remotely smart.

Dick: Oh, I got it! The map was upside down!

***Barbara whacks him across the head and snatches the map from him***

* * *

Jason: How the heck do you keep finding me!?

Dick: It’s actually pretty easy. Just follow all that drama, anger, and angst, and lo behold. I find you.

* * *

Tim: What the hell did I do this time!?

Damian: You were using up too much oxygen.


	11. Incorrect Quotes #11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good evening people! Hope you're all doing well. I'm just gonna go ahead and shut up now.

Wally: Guys! I have this crazy idea!

Artemis: Get him!

Dick: I brought the ropes.

Conner: M’gann. Toss him to me with your telekinesis.

M’gann: Got him!

Dick: And done!

Kaldur: Good work team.

Wally: ...I hate you guys.

* * *

Artemis: Wanna talk about it?

M’gann: Ugh. It’s these boys at school.

Artemis: I can beat them up for you!

M’gann: Artemis! You don’t have to-

Wally: I’ll sabotage their lockers!

M’gann: I really don’t think-

Dick: I’ll bring the shovels!

Conner: Can I join you?

Dick: Sure you can! One for you and one for Kaldur!

Kaldur: Thank you, my friend.

M’gann ***pinching her nose*** : Guys!


	12. Incorrect Quotes #12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun with this one. I can just totally imagine Roy, Wally, and Dick dragging along a reluctant Kaldur on a roadtrip. Stay safe, comment, and enjoy!

**Dick, Roy, Wally, and Kaldur on a road trip:-**

**\--------**

Wally: C’mon Kaldur! It’ll be fun!

Kaldur: I do not think-

Dick: It’ll be so much fun! You’ve gotta join us!

Kaldur: But-

Roy: It would be nice if another sane person joined us.

Kaldur ***sighs*** : Alright. Fine.

\--------

Roy: Nice job you idiots. You’ve gotten us kicked out of yet another Walmart.

Dick: Don’t blame me. Blame Wally.

Wally: Heck yeah! It was all me this time!

Kaldur: What have I gotten myself into?

**\--------**

Dick: Dude. You should totally dangle your airpods out the window.

Wally: Awesome. ***Proceeds to dangle them out the window***

Kaldur: Wally, that may not be the best idea-

Wally: Roy! Turn back! We’ve got to get my airpods!

\--------

Dick and Wally: Ninety nine bottles of pop on the waaaaall. Ninety nine- OW.

Roy: Thanks Kaldur.

\--------

Roy: Dick. Quit throwing orange peels out the window.

Dick: Well, our resident trash can isn’t exactly cooperating, so I’m left with no choice.

\--------

Roy, Dick, Wally, and Kaldur: LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS, TO DEFEAT THE HUNS~

\--------

Wally: Can I drive?

Roy: No.

Wally: Pleeeeease?

Roy: No.

Wally: I’ll send those pictures out to the entire JLA if you don’t let me.

Roy: …

Dick: I’m begging you Roy. Don’t let him.

Kaldur: I would very much like to see the next day. Please do not let Wally drive.

Wally: I’m about to send those pictures, Roy.

Roy ***groans*** : Fine. You can drive.

Dick: No!

Wally: Yes!

Kaldur: May I please get out of the car first before Wally starts driving?

Dick: Seconded.

Roy: Heck no. If I have to suffer, then you have to suffer too.

\--------

Dick: SOMEONE GET WALLY OUT OF THE DRIVER’S SEAT.

Wally: Y’all are mean.

Dick: Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was a crime to want to, I don’t know, LIVE PAST THE AGE OF FOURTEEN. 

\--------

Roy ***groaning*** : I knew we shouldn’t have let Wally drive.

Police Officer: Papers.

Wally: Scissors. I win. ***Drives off***

Roy: WALLY! GO BACK!

Wally: HECK NO. I AIN’T GOING TO JAIL TODAY.

Dick ***sighs*** : I’ll get out the extra license plates.

Kaldur: Remind me why I decided to come with you all today.

\--------

Dick: I’m never going with you guys on a road trip ever again.

\--------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that. What made this a lot more fun was the fact that most of the above actually happened at some point in my life (except for the police and Walmart parts; those were made up). Note to self: Do not let your friend in the driver's seat because she wants to "practice her driving skills". Hope this chapter was good. I was so nervous about posting in the first place because it wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. I'm welcome to any suggestions as to what to add for this chapter. Stay safe guys!


	13. Incorrect Quote #13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody! I might be a little slow on the updates for the next two weeks because of testing. Like, a lot of testing. I'm hoping to post another chapter for Batfam text mesages by Sunday evening, so look out for that! Stay safe, comment, and enjoy!

Tim: Alrighty people. Anything positive to say before we jump in?

Dick: WE ARE OUTGUNNED.

Tim: Wha-

Dick: OUTMANNED.

Tim: Seriously?

Jason: OUTNUMBERED, OUTPLANNED.

Tim: Not you as well.

Damian: Grayson. Todd. What is the meaning of this?

Bruce: WE GOTTA MAKE IT ALL OUTSTAND. AYO I’M GONNA NEED A RIGHT HAND MAN.

Jason: Holy shit.

Damian: Never do that again, Father.

Tim: Should I be more worried about the fact that _Batman_ said yo?

Dick: I knew it was a good idea to introduce him to Hamilton!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya I know. Not exactly the best I could've done, but I wanted to post at least one today. Hamilton was one of the first musicals I had ever watched, and I thought 'I am so going to do this.' I could just imagine Bruce saying those stuff. By the way, thanks for the ideas! I really, really appreciate them. I hoping to do them in my next few updates. Stay whelmed guys!


	14. Incorrect Quotes #14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. I know. I'm sorry for the wait. School was... school. Well, summer break's started and I'm finally free! Definitely going to be able to post more after this. Stay safe, comment, and enjoy!

Big thanks to **Sliver_Tail** for this one!

Wally: ***slams into a wall*** ow

Artemis: I wondered why Walls was your nickname. 

Dick: Yeah. 

Artemis: You'd think it was because of the name, but no. 

Dick: Yeah, unfortunately not. 

Wally: Shut up!

* * *

***Let’s see if you all get this reference. I had to change the wording a little bit though***

Damian: Pennyworth. Make me a sandwich.

Alfred: Why of course.

Alfred ***places a slice of bread on Damian’s head*** : Now you’re a sandwich.

* * *

Tim: Hiya everybody.

Bart: Reeeeeeeeed Robin!

Gar and Cassie: Yum!

Tim: I will murder you all in your sleep.

* * *

Dick: Guys! I can’t find Jason!

Stephanie: Told you we shouldn’t have come to the circus.

Tim: Hold on guys. I got this.

Tim: BATMAN IS THE WORST!

Jason ***from afar*** : Hell yes!

Tim: Found him.

* * *

**This one goes to Lunerwerewolf. Thx so much for the idea!!**

Damian ***while getting out of the car*** : Goodbye Drake. I hope you die today.

Tim: Back at you, Demon Spawn.

***About two minutes later***

Tim ***pinning a kid against the wall*** : Listen up you little shit! If I see you bothering _my little brother_ ever again, they will never find your body! And I’m rich. I can make it happen.

Damian: Drake! I can handle myself!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get the reference in the last one? Hint: The two references I made are from the same show.


	15. Incorrect Quotes #15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for today!

Conner: Tim, I don’t think this is a good idea-

Tim: Just do it, Kon!

Conner ***sighs*** : Whatever you say Tim.

***Proceeds to throw Tim off a building***

Tim: YEET.

* * *

Wally: I am Italian which is why I can do the Irish jig.

Conner: What the actual fuck-

* * *

Raquel: Damn. That kid back there was hot.

Zatanna: What is it with you and calling every single boy we run into hot?

* * *

Wally: Did you know that car brakes only work 6% of the time?

Conner: I’m going to murder Wally if he doesn’t shut up right now.

* * *

Dick ***talking about a 5 year old kid*** : I think this kid loves me.

Roy: Congratulations, Dick. You’ve finally made a friend your age.

**Bonus:-**

Most credit goes to my sister for this, by the way. It's one for Hamilton (I found the entire live muscial a few days ago and I was estatic! No offense to the animatics or anything but it's kinda fun to see how they do it live and I just love audience reactions). I got this one from that scene during Eliza's wedding (Istg Mulligan is literally one of the best characters out there).

***Planning the wedding***

Eliza: So who’s the flower girl?

Alexander ***sweating profusely*** : No need to worry about that… I got it all covered… 

***At the wedding***

Eliza ***sees Mulligan walking down the aisle alone and sweat drops*** : Alexander?

Alexander: Yes dear?

Eliza ***utterly exhausted*** : Something you want to tell me?


	16. Incorrect Quotes #16

M’gann: What do you boys do in your free time?

Wally: I always think about you babe.

***A few minutes later***

Artemis: And that's how we all discovered that Supes here has heat vision.

* * *

Wally: Heeeey Artemis-

Artemis: You’re a dead man, Wally.

***across the room from them***

Zatanna: Do I even want to know what happened?

Conner: Trust me. You don’t.

* * *

**Wally after having an Avengers marathon with the rest of the team:-**

Raquel: Someone make him shut up already!

Wally: Enough! You are, all of you are beneath me! I am a god, you dull creatures, and I will not be bullied by- ***Proceeds to be thrown into a wall by Conner***

Conner: Puny god.

Artemis: …

Raquel: …well that’s one way of doing it.

* * *

***Someone said this during practice one time. I just had to include it.***

Black Canary: Core is important, guys. Do it for the benefit of the team.

Dick: I don’t do core for the team. I do it for myself! For the empire!

* * *

Dick: Jason!

Jason: What? _I_ didn’t kill him. It was the forces of nature.

Dick: You pushed him off a roof!

Jason: Gravity is a force of nature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe guys! And please ignore the note below this. Idk why this is happening but it just won't go. Besides that, please comment and take care everybody!


	17. Incorrect Quotes #17

Raquel: How’s your finger?

Dick: It’s feeling a little better. I somehow lost the band-aid though.

Artemis: What even happened?

Dick: Wally.

Artemis: Want to specify?

Dick: So it started with this broom.

Artemis: Actually, I changed my mind. I don’t want to know.

Jason: No you’ve got to hear this. It’s fucking hilarious.

Dick: Shut up Jason.

Dick: So anyways, I was kinda in a bad mood before. Wally had stolen my broom-

Artemis: Why did you even have a broom in the first place?

Jason: Dick has anger issues.

Wally: So true.

Raquel: Ooh! There was this one time-

Dick: Geez! Would you all let me finish?

Artemis: Go ahead.

Dick: Anyways, Wally kept on passing it back and forth to Roy. Then I had finally gotten it back.

Wally: You started beating me up with the broom!

Dick: Ya. So I started whacking Wally with the broom. Then this  _ buffoon _ ripped it out of my hands and sliced open my fingers!

Dick: It’s like, how in the world do you slice open someone’s fingers with a freakin broom!?

Jason: From what I’ve learned so far, anything can happen if Wally is there.

Wally: I’m not a buffoon!

Artemis: You’re right. You’re an orangutan.

Wally: I hope you all die horrible deaths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been some time now, hasn't it? Hope you all are doing well so far! These times are pretty tough but we can work through it! Stay safe everybody!


	18. Incorrect Quotes #18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This incorrect quote is about the team watching Hamilton together. It's a bit long, but it will make up for not posting for sometime. I actually wanted to post this chapter on July 3 but oh well. I was so excited when it came out, so my neighbor and I ended up sitting in my garage and watched it on her laptop. IT WAS AMAZING. I could totally see the team bonding over this so here it is. Stay safe, comment, and enjoy! Btw, this is set when Jason is still Robin. I forgot to mention this in previous chapters, but whenever Jason's mentioned in a team quote, I'm referring to his time as Robin.

**Young Justice watching Hamilton:**

\--------

Wally: Yo yo yo yo yo yo!! What time is it!?

Dick, Artemis, Jason, and M’gann: Show time!

Roy ***pinching his nose*** : Like I said…

Wally: Showtime showtime woo!

Kaldur: Maybe this wasn’t the best idea.

Conner: We are watching this no matter what, Kaldur. No. Matter. What.

\--------

Conner: I retract my statement. This was a horrible idea.

Kaldur: Like I said…

Conner: You did not just-

\--------

Artemis: Angelica!

Zatanna: Peggy!

M’gann: Eliza!

Artemis, M’gann, and Zatanna: Work!

Raquel: I feel so left out here.

\--------

Jason: Holy shit it’s King George!

Conner: Wasn’t he a psychopath or something?

Dick: He is literally the best character in the entire musical.

Jason: Hate to agree with Wingnut here, but he’s right.

Kaldur: I’m afraid I misunderstand my friends. What exactly is there to like about him? Isn’t he like the other criminals we work to apprehend everyday?

Artemis: Would you all shut up? Trying to watch a musical here!

\--------

Dick: WE ARE OUTGUNNED.

Jason: OUTMANNED.

Wally: OUTNUMBERED. OUTPLANNED.

Artemis: WE GOTTA MAKE IT ALL OUTSTAND.

Conner: HEY YO I’M GONNA NEED A RIGHT HAND MAN.

Roy: …

Jason: Okay what the actual fuck?

\--------

Dick and M'gann: Immigrants. We get the job done.

\--------

Roy: I will literally belt this out if Luthor loses the elections this year.

Dick: Yeah. Y’all be like ‘FREEDOM FOR AMERICA. FREEDOM FOR FRANCE.’

\--------

M’gann: I love this song! It’s so pretty!

Artemis: So true though? The harmonies are absolutely beautiful. 

Raquel: Everybody loves this song. It’s a given.

Roy: … I don’t like this song?

M’gann: Don’t expect me to bake you any cookies for a month.

Roy: Aww! But M’gann!

\--------

Conner: I think we are in unanimous agreement when I say that Cabinet Battle #1 is probably one of the best songs in the musical.

Dick: YES.

\--------

Zatanna: Say no to this! Say no to this!

Kaldur: Zatanna! Calm down!

Artemis: I fucking swear to god. How the hell does Eliza put up with his shit?

Jason: I think I have a newfound respect for her.

\--------

Dick: Burr literally looks like a lost puppy right now.

Jason: It’s fucking hilarious.

Wally: Meanwhile, Jefferson stare at him like ‘Yo. This guy a nut job?’

\--------

Dick: Oh my god this song is amazing.

Wally: Of course it is. Washington’s the one singing.

\--------

Jason: These words just seem to resonate with me. I would totally be like ‘They will tear each other into pieces. Jesus Christ this will be fun!’

Artemis: Sounds something more of what the Joker would say but ok.

Jason: Shut up.

\--------

M’gann: I hope that you burn.

Dick: Whoa. What happened to sweet, loveable M’gann?

\--------

Raquel: Imma ugly sobbin here. Phillip! Why!?

\--------

Dick: Ah. Forgiveness.

Wally: Can you imagine?

Artemis: The two you have once again successfully destroyed another beautiful moment that could do without your constant need to comment.

\--------

Raquel: Oof. I can hear the spite in there.

Jason: I love how Hamilton just interjects with ‘You would need to cite a more specific grievance. Here's an itemized list of thirty years of disagreements.’

Artemis: Sweet Jesus.

Jason: Hey!

\--------

Conner: This is a good ending.

Artemis: Actually, it’s probably one of the best endings from all of the musicals I’ve ever seen.

Zatanna: Say ‘Ay’ if you want to watch this again.

Dick: Ay.

Jason: Ay.

Wally: Ay.

Conner: Ay.

M’gann: Ay.

Kaldur: Ay.

Artemis: Ay.

Raquel: Ay.

Zatanna: It’s settled then.

Kaldur: I shall let Black Canary know that we are in the middle of a team bonding session and request to not be disturbed for the rest of the day.

Jason: Sweet!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all folks! A little crappy but I wanted to post as soon as possible so yeah. Stay safe everyone!


	19. Incorrect Quotes #19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...pls don't murder me.

Tim: How did you get in here!?

Jason: I’m like oxygen. I’m everywhere.

* * *

***Jason sees Tim standing on the edge of the building***

Jason ***pushes Tim off*** : Timber!

* * *

Random student: Smartass.

Tim: Oh honey. Just because I’m smarter than you doesn’t mean you have to be bitter about it. You’ll get there one day.

* * *

**This conversation was a real one my friends and I had at school. It's a wonder how I put up with them sometimes.**

M’gann ***pointing at what Wally is eating*** : What’s that?

Wally: This is chicken.

M’gann: Oh.

Wally: It’s really, really good.

Dick: Do you like chicken?

M’gann: Oh no! I’m actually vegetarian. Mainly because I can shapeshift into all of those animals!

Dick: You’re missing out. This stuff is good.

Wally: Whenever I think of a chicken, I think of the farmer chopping off the chicken’s head.

M’gann: …

Dick: …

Dick: M’gann?

M’gann: Yeah?

Dick: Imma kill Wally. For real this time.

* * *

Tim: You can take your shit and shove it up your ass.

Jason: Bold of you to even assume I have-

Dick: Alrighty~ I think you all have proved your point! Let’s move along.

* * *

Jason: I'd like to introduce a new and improved version of Duck, Duck, Goose! Drum roll please!

***Roy drumming in the background***

Jason: Ladies and gentlemen! I give you, Fuck, Fuck, Shit!

Tim: Get out.

* * *

Jason: I probably shouldn’t brag but dag I amaze and astonish.

Damian: Anybody would be amazed with the amount of stupidity in your brain.

Jason: You have 10 seconds.

* * *

Damian: Drake. I will tear you apart, limb by limb, slit your throat, and steal your spleen.

Tim: Can’t take what I don’t have.

Jason: The heart or the spleen, Baby Bird?

Dick: Wait… Tim, you don’t haVE A SPLEEN!!?

Damian: Tt. Your lack of vital organs displays the sheer incompetence you hold.

* * *

Conner: You know, water can basically solve any problem.

Bart: Yeah! Like if you need to lose weight? Drink water. Need to clean something? Use water! Eat something spicy, well you can just DriNk WatER! Need to-

 **Sleep deprived, done with everybody’s shit,** Tim: Drown yourself? Use water.

Conner: Tim… no

* * *

Dick: You should Be More Chill.

Tim: And you should learn to just breathe.

Tim: Though it's quite hard to do it when you're just hiding in your hands.

Dick: It's like that?

Tim: We could do this all day.

Jason: I saw on discovery that humanity has stopped evolving!

Bruce: That's... good?

Tim: ....dot dot dot.

Jason: Evolution is survival of the fittest, right? But now, because of technology, you don't have to be strong to survive. Which means there's never been a better time in history to be a loser!

Stephanie: You know, you know, you know, this could be beautiful...

Damian ***just walking in*** : So what did I miss?

Stephanie: *Applause*

Cass: I feel, I feel...

Barbara: Wicked.

Dick: Yes

* * *

Tim: Idiot.

Donald Trump: Uh, what did you just call me?

Tim: Sorry. Is this language too complicated for your simplistic mind? Let me rephrase. Moron.

* * *

Dick: Why do we have to go to space if we are already in space?

Artemis: For fuck’s sake, Dick! Go! To! Sleep!

* * *

Dick: Feel the aster. Be one with the aster. Let the aster guide you.

M’gann: Isn’t Aster a flower?

Dick: WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SAYING THAT?

* * *

***I said this during dinner one time***

Jason: Thunder is like the cloud having stomach issues and lightning is the crap coming out of it.

Donna: What did I do in my past life to deserve this?

* * *

***My family and I talk about the weirdest things***

Dick: Oh my god.

Jason: Never be partial with god.

Tim: If we’re supposed to be impartial to god, do we treat him, her, whatever like they’re a human?

Duke: These are the real questions.

* * *

***Sees a sad, lonely fly***

Dick: Aw. Fly. You’re always welcome in my home!

Barbara: Serenity now. Serenity now.

**Get the reference?**

* * *

Dick: Today’s the day-

Jason: We die.

Dick: Jason! No!

* * *

***Extra Bonus* - Another weird conversation we had during dinner.**

Oikawa: Aliens exist, and you know why? Because we’re technically on a planet in space.

Kageyama: Would that mean the vegetables follow transpiration?

Oikawa ***spits out his coffee*** : Wai-No-I- What the hell!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I know I kinda... dropped of the radar for a bit, but I'm back! I'm officially pulling this fic to a close. School's been super stressful lately, seeing as not only am I the youngest in my grade but also taking some of the hardest APs at our school (I'm 14 year old sophomore and don't turn 15 until next month). Not only that, I also overworked myself leading to a knee injury that has left me frustrated over the past few weeks. I may add some more chapters here and there, but I am pretty much done with this one at the point. Feel free to check out some of my other works if you want/ I added a ton of references to many different things. See if you can get them all! I'll try to update Batfam text messages by the end of this weekend. Stay safe out there guys!


	20. Incorrect Quotes #20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe, comment, and enjoy!

Tim: You know those days where you’re like ‘This might as well happen’?

Kon: ...you want me to come over?

* * *

Dick: I saw on discovery that humanity has stopped evolving!

Artemis: … 

M’gann: That’s… good?

Dick: Evolution is survival of the fittest, right? But now, because of technology, you don’t have to be strong to survive.

Wally: Which means!

Wally and Dick: There’s never been a better time in history to be a loser!

Conner: You know, sometimes I regret leaving that pod in Cadmus.

* * *

Dick: So I had this really bad dream where these scientists used that ugly selfie I took last Saturday to show that humans have the same DNA as squid and then I went to the swamp where the palm trees stole my brownies made by none other than our god Alfred and Bruce was riding a unicorn with a giant smile on his face yelling “Yeethaw!” and I just- ***Bursts into tears***

Kaldur ***Patting him on the back awkwardly*** : That is quite a scary dream, my friend.

* * *

Dick: My life’s a lie.

Wally: What could you possibly want at 2 in the fucking morning!?

Dick: Disney’s dirty.

Wally: …

***Ten minutes later***

Roy: Nope. No. Not doing this again. Get out of my apartment right now.

Wally: MY LIFE’S BEEN AN ENTIRE LIE.

Dick: A WHOLE NEW WORLD DISCOVERED HAVE WE.

***An hour of Roy suffering***

Kaldur ***because he’s called in for damage control*** : Are you alright, Roy?

Roy: Perfectly fine Kaldur. Just planning on how to show those two idiots a whole new world myself.


	21. Incorrect Quotes #21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe, comment and enjoy!

Dick: I bet you ten bucks that I can understand anything you say.

Wally: You’re not vulnerable but they like to say the vulnerable but you’re the least vulnerable but for this one thing, you are vulnerable. 

Dick: Fuck.

Wally: Am I getting those 10 dollars or not?

* * *

Tim: Wanna be the ‘boyf’ to my ‘riend’?

Kon: Well… you are the person I want to be with everyday ***winks***

Tim: D-did you just-

* * *

Artemis: I. HATE. EVERYTHING.

Raquel: Girl? You good?

Artemis: I AM GOING TO MURDER MY AP WORLD TEACHER.

Artemis: ‘Mr. Green. You know how our test crashed and you had to reset it? Yeah. My timer continued, and I had about 15 minutes of our supposed 33 minutes to finish 32 stimuli questions, of which I didn’t answer any of them because the test disappeared while I was reading the first question.'

Artemis: ‘Oh well. There’s nothing I can do about it.’

Zatanna: Ah. So he’s an asshole?

Artemis: Yes!

Megan: I can bribe Dick to hack into the system and change your grades!

Artemis: …

Zatanna: …

Raquel: ...what now?

Megan: He owes me a favor anyways. It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything!

Artemis: DO IT.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Funny thing. Third quote actually happened (Except for the hacking part. My friends know squat about coding). And I ship TimKon so much.


	22. Incorrect Quotes #22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe, comment, and enjoy!

Dick: YES. WE'RE NOT GOING TO FUCKING DIE THIS YEAR.

Conner: Huh?

Wally: DID YOU CHECK THE NEWS? TRUMP LOST. WE'RE NOT STUCK WITH THAT PSYCHOPATH ANYMORE.

Conner: NO FUCKING WAY.

Raquel: We're going down to the city to celebrate. Wanna come?

Conner: YES.

* * *

Tim: How much coffee can I consume without accidentally poisoning myself?

Dick: Go. To. SLEEP.

* * *

Megan: We have to bake about 13 pies for the bake sale!

Raquel: But none of us knows how to bake pie??

Artemis: I mean, how hard can it be?

***2 hours later with the oven in flames***

Zatanna: You had one job!

* * *

Barbara: What the hell Dick!? Why is Jason taped to the ceiling!?

Dick: I'm tired of being alone and life is the only way out, so if you want to save Jason, I need you ***gets down on one knee*** to marry me.

Barbara: Wait wha-

Dick: It's a greeting card thing!

Barbara: Holy shit. Yes! ***starts crying***

Jason: Oi! Don't forget about me up here!

* * *

Dick: The early bird gets the worm!

Tim: And the early worm got eaten. Your point?

* * *

Dick: Yo is hoe and hoe is he.

Barbara: ...okay?

Dick: He is yee and yee is yo.

Barbara: What the hell goes through your brain everyday?

**-Later in the mountain-**

Dick: Yo is no and no means nothing... :')

Wally: Dude, you good?

Barbara: Oh for heavens sake! You've been at it all day!

* * *

Jason: Let's give Bruce an aneurysm.

Stephanie: Y E S

* * *

Barbara: I just ran a red light on accident right in front Dad.

Wally: Relatable.


End file.
